the corner

I cant remember the last time I smiled

the last time I really meant for the curves on my lips to dent

i've concluded to losing that file

im in a trench on a no man’s land

im fighting a battle with an empty gun and no plan

i guess writing this is a start to get me out of this sinking sand

oh lord, I forgot how to smile

forgot how to love

forgot how to hold someone the right way

I forgot the words that boil in my heart and forget what to say

I confuse my day with night and night with day

Ive lost my mind and forgot how to pray

so ill start by writing this

I use to be good, real good

the words id write seeped into their drinks and cold ice

while they took a sip and understood

oh If I could just bring it back

back on track

id maybe remember how to mend this crack in my confidence

if I could bring it back

id remember how to love myself and be bullet proof to any attack

I forgot to escape and still be sober

forgot to feel young instead I feel older

I have no more oxygen to blow away these fears

but im sick of depending on someone to supposedly

kiss away my tears

my foundation has cracked like ground zero

torn down and silent

im the refugee walking around but not looking for a hero

not anymore

Im still here for a reason and I really cant seem to figure why

so the new mentality is to keep on moving

to keep on crying

to keep on hustling

to keep on trying

to keep holding on

to stay strapped up

head up like a pledge line

don’t let them break your line

your path

let the vultures circle up in the sky

that’s all they know

its their only craft

that’s all they remember

but I will remember

Ill remember how to smile

Ill get my nose out the corner

Ill drop these invisible fees I hold against myself

Ill love again

Ill open my eyes to see

I just have to get out of this room

but wheres the key?

.