music pt.2

i love to overdose on it
oh man
my eyes roll back
when my heart beats with the abstract
just put your hand on my chest
as we lay in the never ending rest
fighting with the world will never end
so i go to something that will ease the pain
and let it mend
what are you thinking?
huh? i need it
dont judge
i fiend for it
i breathe it
and with it...
theres no limitations
to the addiction
for me it more than non-fiction
its something of a dedication
more of a medication
to my insanity
it feels my body up
and frustrates me
holds me
in those lonely cold nights
and i cant believe god
could create something so right
so perfect , but once again
it is god
i believe this drug is god
through melodies
symphonies
harmonies
and ....
you read this and think im crazy
but i dont care
im good at running away
when life is unfair
but i dont run away alone
it holds my hand
its all so well-known
that i'll be gone for a while
so far in the distant mile
so i wouldnt bother following me
as i let my joy unfurl
ill soon be back
to this cruel world

surely..you'll break my heart

surely you'll break my
...heart
who wants to be faithful
who wants that part?
we will go up and down
with smiles and frowns
and surely
slowly surely
you'll end up leaving
and my routine starts
with grieving
so why do we run back
to the massacre
why?
because of hope?
because of pleasure?
but really
its the hurt
that is unequally measured
of course you'll break my
...heart
its my favorite part
you wont even realize it
when it happens
but me?
i already know
so call me pessimistic
but im jus being
realistic
while you stand at a
stand still
you dont even know
that youre a natural
at the art of the kill
and its just what i feel
its ok
we all learn to heal
right?
so dont try and act like
you're my heroic knight
whats the point of even
giving this a try
when i forgot how to cry
im only good at saying
goodbye
so leave correct
hey now, no disrespect
but you're way over due
for my heart breaking effect

he never kisses my neck

ha, my momma said
us virgo woman stay
with our men
even if the love dont go according to plan
and ...damn
i wish mama wasnt right all the time
when he doesnt even hold me right
doesnt even kiss me goodnight
and alright, ill jus hold this pillow tight
he loves to fight
thinkin he always right
he never looks into my eyes
he always looks down below
and i know for show
i am jus his show
he keeps me in containment
for i am just his entertainment
yet us virgo women
ha, we dance in denial
cause we think the pain
..is worth our while
ah goodness
he listens but doesnt listen
he touches but doesnt touch
he supposedly loves me
but not that much
and i stay
cause im too lazy to
runaway
and betray this love thats
sits in the middle
of a freeway
hes not a mystery
no need to figure him out
no need to cry and doubt
no need to scream and shout
cause i already know what hes about
hes full of shit
simple as that
as i lay stupid n flat right
by his side
trying be his ride or ...die?
....sighh

russian roulette starring the insecurities

do my insecurities protect me?
do my insecurities choke me?
accusations
accusations
imitations
imitation
fascination
with the abomination
back to the
accusations
accusations
one by one
when im just waiting
on you to say ...
im done
the string
gets thinner
everytime i fall harder for you
cause i was designed to love you
and to mistrust you
as i say things out of the proportion
and you look at me with a puzzled face
i see you're tired of the same ol shit
and i feel like its a disease i have
and i hate myself for that
who do i blame in this
game where i see all
hearts as replicas of the same ol
same of this heatbreakin claim
that drags my neck
like a dog chain
do my insecurities comfort me?
do my insecurities stab me?
i love you i love you
but im so frickin bi-polar
cuz the next min
where were you
why didnt you call
who do i run to
oh i hate it
when i wish i never met you in the first place
wish i never gotten into this case
cause itd be easier walking around like
a zombie
without a care in the world
you see, i aint tryna rhyme
im tryna talk to you
so please accept my tone
and dont hang up the phone
cuz something is whispering to me
that you're the one
and if you call back...
please call back
and knock on my door
please prove you are the one
the one
and only
my one
and dont let my insecurities
play this russian roulette with
this gun.

he never kisses my neck

ha, my momma said
us virgo woman stay
with our men
even if the love dont go according to plan
and ...damn
i wish mama wasnt right all the time
when he doesnt even hold me right
doesnt even kiss me goodnight
and alright, ill jus hold this pillow tight
he loves to fight
thinkin he always right
he never looks into my eyes
he always looks down below
and i know for show
i am jus his show
he keeps me in containment
for i am just his entertainment
yet us virgo women
ha, we dance in denial
cause we think the pain
..is worth our while
ah goodness
he listens but doesnt listen
he touches but doesnt touch
he supposedly loves me
but not that much
and i stay
cause im too lazy to
runaway
and betray this love thats
sits in the middle
of a freeway
hes not a mystery
no need to figure him out
no need to cry and doubt
no need to scream and shout
cause i already know what hes about
hes full of shit
simple as that
as i lay stupid n flat right
by his side
trying be his ride or ...die?
....sighh

cloud 9.

cloud 789
this sweet cloud
i sit on
the number 9
where i jus contemplate
on the joy of you being all mine
you got me dizzy
got me irresponsible
saying things way out of line
but i dont care on this cloud
number 9
when i hear the distant yells
of ignorance and hate
i just turn my head and look
at you
my fate
but oh am i late?
to board that train where i
work for another man's dream?
and it seems the struggle will never
end
but on cloud 9
im feelin like a child again
where nothing even matters
but your touch
and how you adore me so so so so much
cause below this cloud im
a peasant
the ambitious fiend
you all know the scene
but on that cloud you treat me
like a queen
just one kiss
and im going blind
losing my sight
i sparkle like that vampire on
twlight
and i dont want to fight
anymore this feeling that
is choking me soo tight
cuz whoo baby
if its wrong
then i dont want to be right
aiight?
on this cloud 9
you so damn fine
and i have to rhyme
to keep the tempo
with the time
that im losing just wishing you
were here right now
i giggle
my heart wiggles
for it isnt frozen anymore
you... you did that
so ill wrap it up gotta climb down
my latter down to the this cruel world
from that mighty queen back to
that stupid girl
ill jus look up to the sky
and wave goodbye with something
of a smile aligned
to my cloud 9.