silent affair

It was a starry night
Holding hands
Eye to eye
This wrong never felt so right
Because we have to be quiet
Quiet…
Like the pure dark we have to blend
So there is nothing to see
So whisper in my ear that you love me
You love me
Breathe into my heart
Let it mold me
Shhhh…
We have to be quiet
We Cant be loud
This is something of a beautiful cut
Something ive never felt
As you hold me
And silently point out Orion’s belt
We use to be loud
Real Loud
Ignorant
Young and proud
But now we sit on separate clouds
Yet send messages
Hoping it’ll float to one another
So when we get the message
Read it quietly
So quietly
The wind becomes lost in time
And the time starts to stutter and lose its constant rhyme
So we can meet again
Meet again
Holding hands
Eye to eye
This wrong never felt so right
Because we have to be quiet
Quiet…

the wishing well

There’s no way that I can have you back
No way that I can have your back
Never again because I stabbed your back
this is my apology
My tears are the letters in the words
These words in the sentence
I hope can float into your heart
Because I can’t cry anymore
I’m so dried up from the pain in the start
You were there to wipe the flaws off my cheek
You found me when I played hide n seek
You put a band aid on my heart that use to leak
but I ran so far and so fast
because I wasn’t done with my past
but now ?
how?
Im not done with you
And I tried I tried so hard to shake this
Dust
Oh I must!!
Off of my shoulders
But what if
What if
He was the wrong cliff?
To jump into forever with
What if ?
It wasn’t normal
Our kiss
it was abnormal
our endless bliss
two broke ass niggas
but I felt rich
when I was with you
I toss and turn
And my heart yearns
And my lips start to burn
Because they need yours
And no one else
but back to reality
and I hope you can let go
of your rules and formality
and just imagine taking me back
and starting over
and im so sorry it is over
but if I have to fight
…I will
Ill fight until
One of us is killed
So don’t turn back
My arms are open to catch your back
So …come back

memoirs of a rose (the finale)

the reason, the inspriration, the person

i tried sooo hard with imitation

wrote back to me

its been forever since i read your sighs

your cries and your heart beat

through your words

i said id always love you

id said id wait ...

but time changed my face

i fell in love with hate

cause i thought u forgot me

like you said "just forget me"

i mean , you got engaged...right?

youre in love right?

but ive noticed its my name that you write

in vain

and its such a shame

because you're the one to blameso stop throwing me into the flames

how long will it be when we will stop

writting to each other through poetry?

how long will it be

when we can just talk like how it use to be

you and me

me and you

now it seems like your heart has turned blue

circles created us

because i followed you, needed you

you see i was young i had no clue

you were the inspriration that got me to write

my first poem

the respiration that got me to to recite my first

poem

but now i stand on my own

writting my poems

well u will never let me go

and i know you can never let me go

in the way that ive let you go

you will always be my rose

and i propose a hand shake

to kill whatever you have left towards me

because im happy

im in love with someone else

someone that loves me underneath it all

someone that caresses and kisses my flaw

and i wouldnt trade it all for nothing

i write my last poem for you today.

because i have tears right now

because i remember the day i use to pray

that id forget your name

and have nothing to say

towards you mi rosa...

so good night and goodluck


-Natasha Gordon

open water

the ocean

we are in the middle of it

because its been 50 mins,17 hours and 24 days

and i miss you seems like the only thing i know how to say

the waves keep crashing on me

reminding me on how far you're away

and it makes me cry

makes me want to just die

when youre gone

my spirit is with you

but i still float here all alone

taking it second by second by minute by inch

to getting closer to your kiss

that haunts me and makes me flinch

your arms that hold me

and your stare ...

ah baby... it just isnt fair

we ask god, why did we take on the dare

of this pain we knew we'd bare

why??!?

because i love you

i need you like you need me

the air is polluted without you

without you i win in defeat

my blood flow slows down

and my heart loses its beat

...its that serious

when it comes to you and me

im right here and you're on the other side of the sea

with all the treading, kicking and fighting to stay afloat

sometimes i close my eyes to remember when we were on land

face to face

hand in hand

sane minds

with our hearts perfectly aligned

it felt like the closest thing to heaven

ah that beautiful day on september 7th

but right now i recite this poem

to the wall pretending that maybe

you'd hear me writting for you

feel my pen bleed for you on the paper

feel my heart beat for you in the life

we are strong baby

we will defeat the strife of the negativity

as these sharks circle around us

the challenges we purely disgust

and one day itll just be ... us

but for now

keep treading

keep floating

keep praying that these surrounding frowns

will never let us drown.



-Natasha Gordon

breathing with no air

life is cold without you
i get more bruises without you
when i though life would be a
cruise without you
if i go ahead and stand alone
breathe alone
this is my anthem
this is nothing but
my song of the
screeching melodies of all
that is wrong
i took my heart out
when i kissed your
hand goodbye
i killed myself when i left
nothing but my sighs
to your lips of despair
now i walk around stupid
yelling fuck you cupid!
but who cares??
you were the only one that did
but i pushed you off
for a good reason
the reason that i dont deserve it
never believed in it
so why should i recieve it?
your perfection and my infection
to the addition of your submission
of your constant love
I was born alone
i'll die alone
i'll cry alone
and dont worry
i'll pay off the loan
of your goodness
but my goodness!
i hope i dont choke you
with all my negativity
and doubt
...so for now?
turn the lights out
along with my heart
....i always liked it dark

the delay

nah,nah my dude
slow down and turn around
i made my decision to go ahead
and keep my frown
to prevent myself from that screeching
heartbreak sound
a final decision
to protect me from the incision
of what i have i left in this chest
beating
sweating
but not letting you in
who do you think you are?
...real?!
someone i could actually confide in and feel?
its too much like right
so i'll just be on my way
go back to the fast lane
back to the insane
for there is no such thing
as sane
but oh my gosh
i must be losing my brain
to be pushing such an angelic figure
out of my way
but not today
i will not fall for the trick
i aint no trick
im just too weak
i checked in 2 hours ago
im just so fucking sick
you going straight for
my heart
...like you gon heal it
you've admire me and my wounds
from the start
...but i'm gon kill it
so dont act shocked
but i dont know what i was thinking
letting my heart be unlocked
acting like you might change
my phantom ways
because i belong in the dark
i am dark
i belong to be alone
made to echo
is anyone home??!
are you feeling me now
or is this a factor of wow
but please go ahead and take a bow
so i can clap
at the mishap of my
torn down map
to a happy ending
like cinderella with her fella
im not saying you're fake
you're actually the closest thing
to the aunthetic
give or take
but im just broke
cant afford another massacre
of falling in love
then eventually
falling in hell
cant and wont
you're beautiful
...but im ugly
just like this poem
so go drive into someone else's
heart
bc mine is delayed
from the clash of permanent darts


-Natasha Gordon

the stand still

It’s a tough world out there
Full of boundaries and limits
Of empty handed cares
But I wouldn’t dare cross those boundaries
Because I am simply scared
I breathe in and out my fears
As I grow old with these years
So I just follow the traces of my tears
Oh,, it’s a long road here
Take my heart off the shelf
And blow off the dust
Its been a while for me to give
A person my full trust
Because of all of the mistrust
Lead me to the dust and eventually
It became hurricane
Where I sat in a corner and became insane
Like these words that I vomit out of my mouth
It been a while since I wrote and let my pencil bleed out
Im at a beautiful stand still
Where life has no purpose
But a purpose to the unknown
Is this my rebirth
Where im planted to be grown
All over again??
Into something great?
Because lord, I tried that other gate
And its just my fate to keep breathing
When theres no hope to be around
When theres no one to be found
Keep breathing
When they stomp you to the ground
I stand still yet tall
When theres nothing but a dying sound
For now ill give it my all
And wait for you lord
To catch me when I fall.


-Natasha Gordon

Maria

I will cry for you
Die for you
Never say goodbye to you
I will breathe for you
When you cant seem to
Catch on to your sigh
I will be with you
When we take that ride
Up on this mountain high
You’re my angel
You’re my heartbeat
You’re my cure
You’re my everything
I will hold on to you
Listen to this song I sing
For you
When no one is there
I’ll be there
I’ll be behind you
So you can fall on my
Pillow full of cares for you
I will kiss your nose and blow
Away your despairs
You are so strong
As you face this brick wall
Full of wrongs
I stand here with you
As your daughter
Your creation
Your dedication
Your imitation
But never your resignation
We are one
You and me, mama
Day by day
The struggle will never seem to
Go away
But mama, as people
Stray…
Im here
I will stay
So rest your weak legs and just
…lay
Lay… with your child
And tune out what these snakes say
Because its us against the world mama
Us against the world mama
Its us
You and me
And the sea full of negativity
I know your heart hurts
And when you hurt
I die
But…like I said
I die for you
Cry for you
Fall for you
Give my all for you
I cant stop writing this
For you
Mama,this love is coming out
Of my pores onto their page for you
So let these words be the beat of your
Weary heart
Mama, I’ll be there with you
Forever
Like I was in the start.

-Natasha Gordon

turn it up: a remedy to the illness of hiphop

Late night
All night
Beats circulating just right
Feeling too nice
I feel you hip-hop
I feel you inside me
That Real hop--- hip?
Shit…
where did the music go??
Cuz all im hearing
Is the artificial like it is official
To stuff bullshit in our ears now
Turn on the radio, yeah it turn it up
Turn up the pollution
The so called solution into
What makes life grand
Turn it up
Turn it up in your cars
So the next generation
Can build life off the innovations
Of …hop-hip
You see???
…you don’t see
You hear???
But you don’t listen
To the melting of real hip hop glisten
Down on the streets where we walk
And stomp our feet
So loud,we forget what real music
Is all about.
So turn the pollution up
Money makes you a man, young boy
Turn it up
Bitches aint nothing but toys, young girl
So, Turn it up
Turn it up louder
So we can sniff this deadly powder
We call music
Hip-hop
Hip-hop
Beautiful woman
You patted our backs
Gave us rhythm
Gave us culture,
But right now baby
You’re surrounded by vultures
You’re in a musical prostitution
In this never-ending revolution
And don’t get me wrong
Im like the lorax writing this song
For it is your night time remedy
Hip hop
Hip hop
Get well soon…

kiss me on thin ice

I believe in you
I believe in me
and I believe in
what we want
and what we see
We mess up
I know this
Every of the second
Of the day
But the lord keeps us together
Cuz we still seem to be finding our way
…ha …our way
We gotta tune out what these vultures
Say
And say and say and
They start sounding like the past
But we are in the now
Which confuses them and they wonder how
So much its make them just want to fall to their knees and bow
Bow to us
Bow to us, baby
You see them
You never knew you were a king, didn’t ya?
But you see we haven’t built our kingdom yet
And this is when I get a little louder
Cuz this is the point of no more regrets
And yet!
we are adults, thought
We were children in love
And that was the past
And we don’t believe in forever’
And wonder if we will last
While we lay on broken glass
Just hold my hand, cause if we fall
We could say for one second,
We did have it all
This is us
This is me
This is you
This is where we stand
Broken hearts and broken bones
whew,baby grip my hand
Scarred faces and those places
We run back to
But they push us away
So far away
I ended up coming back to you
Broken hearts and broken bones
Kiss me
Kiss me into the beautiful unknown

let's believe again.

i look at you
you look at me
you quickly look away
as you wish
could
should
but you still
have nothing to say
let me get closer to you
let me observe you
because that stare looks familar
of something of a sting
that is too peculiar
your eyes looks as
if you were deep in love
and if im incorrect
she tore ya heart
in pieces
and you still dont get it
but baby...look at me
i wanna be that woman to
take care of you
when you're weak
hold you down
so you no longer need to seek
no longer will you be incomplete
i see the pain that cripples
your body
and i know that pain
i know that feeling
when you cant breath
and everything is insane
but we have both been broken
bent into painful shapes
and we almost let those old
figures carry over
and get in our way
so let me be the whisper
let me be your strength
to carry you over to a new day
we'll take it slow,so slow
cause i know it hurts
so hold my hand
and lets jus be friends
where we feel comfortable enough
to believe in love again
because right now
love is untrue
full of knives and clues that
we cant unravel just yet
but lets believe again
and put our faith on reset
replay
repeat
back to time when love
had us secure
when it was pure
but now...now we hate it but
damnit! we need it
cause it something like a cure
so come to me
im standing right here
dont look away anymore
cause our process starts
to cleanse our sores.

picking the bad apple...on purpose revised

theres times when im ugly
even fugly!
yet...you still love me
theres times when i cuss
fuss
ohhhh, i have to have it
its a must
yet... you still love me
theres times when i ignore
bore wont even let you explain
i'll jus slam the door
yet...you still love me
when i slap
zap
yap
annoy you trying to rap
yet...you still love me
the constant repetition
the instant recognition
permission
im the car with the fucked up
ignition
cant even start me sometimes
you still love me?
""boo""??
are you still in love
with my flaws and unorderly
clues you have to spend your time
unraveling just to get a kiss
longer than the split second,
of our first kiss, when you missed?
you still saying im the best you ever had
but baby
dont forgot your favorite sessions
of my P.M.S
boy,you know those get bad
im scared of what i found
cause you seem to be still sticking around
to rub my back
while my affection and love
is lacked
and im just ready to attack
at any given second
cause i only prepare myself
for the weak ,the ones that leave and deceive and
I receive a lesson learned
for they are my teachers
they taught me well
but you switching up the game
cause you just earned your spot
in my hall of fame
separating yourself from the
same ol same
so ima still be scared of you
while you achieve this amazing task
and love me like you do
yet i'll loosen up
smile a lil more on the
On the fact that im yours and youre mine
I’ll set up my lawn chair on
this cloud number nine
i just gotta confide baby
yet i still got my armor
and sword by my side

...you still love me??