breaking my own heart

i dont cry anymore
cause the sky does it for me
the rain at which it touches
your cheek, shares a fraction
of what i lost, of what i seek

i just smile at myself
when im doing the inevitable
...
cause its the only way to cope
you see, im breaking my own heart
and starting to lose hope

poems here, poems there
lie up, and lie down
smile gone, and heres my frown

...

i understand
life. must. go. on
but could you please just
answer your phone?

...
you like seeing me suffer
you knew in the end..
id break my own heart


imagine this, audience..
a dark cold stage
you and your mind fully engaged
in a break through performance
of a solo act,of a female holding
her heart up, barely beating...
yes you'd still be watching with
your fascination, his resignation
and my humilation..
blend quite well together.

im doing this to myself.
who knew, after all the pointed fingers in this game,
id be ...

the one to blame.