if you died today

If you died today
…the world would drown
with my tears, full of images
of your face, I was in our home
…now it just an empty space
If you died today
Id hate you for leaving me
Alone in the cold wind
That screeches a song
So ugly
So wrong
As I plant a seed and
The rain is the tears
I bleed
If you died today
The breath that I breathe now
Would break the promise
The vow of my importance
Of my life
Im jus not ready, not prepared
For the gift of strife
Just because you had to go to heaven
And siin washes me as I become jealous
With a fetish of my rebellious heart
I cant stand you for letting
Go, as we drift apart
Cant you see the chipping
Of my heart?!
The logic explains that im in some
Type of delusional
Psychotic
Denial
Some crazy bitch watching her mind
Run into the distant mile
The logic laughs at the missing poster
On the search of my brain and how
Much I loved you, drives me insane
So if you died today
Id still pretend you’re here
Make the bed, cause I know you’re near
Watching me, getting ready to yell at me
Cause I didn’t do the dishes last night
And ahhhh shit, here comes our daily fight
That I will enjoy every second of cause
If you really died today
Mama…id have nothing to say