the corner

I cant remember the last time I smiled

the last time I really meant for the curves on my lips to dent

i've concluded to losing that file

im in a trench on a no man’s land

im fighting a battle with an empty gun and no plan

i guess writing this is a start to get me out of this sinking sand

oh lord, I forgot how to smile

forgot how to love

forgot how to hold someone the right way

I forgot the words that boil in my heart and forget what to say

I confuse my day with night and night with day

Ive lost my mind and forgot how to pray

so ill start by writing this

I use to be good, real good

the words id write seeped into their drinks and cold ice

while they took a sip and understood

oh If I could just bring it back

back on track

id maybe remember how to mend this crack in my confidence

if I could bring it back

id remember how to love myself and be bullet proof to any attack

I forgot to escape and still be sober

forgot to feel young instead I feel older

I have no more oxygen to blow away these fears

but im sick of depending on someone to supposedly

kiss away my tears

my foundation has cracked like ground zero

torn down and silent

im the refugee walking around but not looking for a hero

not anymore

Im still here for a reason and I really cant seem to figure why

so the new mentality is to keep on moving

to keep on crying

to keep on hustling

to keep on trying

to keep holding on

to stay strapped up

head up like a pledge line

don’t let them break your line

your path

let the vultures circle up in the sky

that’s all they know

its their only craft

that’s all they remember

but I will remember

Ill remember how to smile

Ill get my nose out the corner

Ill drop these invisible fees I hold against myself

Ill love again

Ill open my eyes to see

I just have to get out of this room

but wheres the key?

.

cinderella (that nigga)

Waiting for that nigga

You know… that nigga

The one that gets me to drop my armor

Before I put it up

The one that gets me to cut that bullshit about how they all the same

With one finger to shut me up

I aint waiting

Im not anticipating

Just floating, maybe hoping…

Ah fuck it

Im fine alone through these four walls

But I keep hearing whispers of how someone is gonna

Break these walls and have them fall

So that nigga can come to me and finally say

I can have it all?!

This poem corny as shit and in a min

I gotta get ready for work

And this fantasy ish..has got to quit

But damn u stay on my mind

And I don’t even know what you look like

When you’re in my dreams your face is blurry

So I try to re-wind, re defined fast forward..something!

but u vanish, then I somehow manage to get my ass outta bed

but never out of my head

you’re my Cinderella, my lost treasure

and the road to finding you is in

nothing but the smallest measures

I don’t know your name

your face

Your laugh

If your heart is tore

Don’t know your credit score

But I crave for you and I want more

So yeah maybe I am waiting

Maybe anticipating

But the thought of you makes me happy

Its hard sometimes being alone all the time

but there is hope to the existance

of real love with no crimes

And youre the nigga

That nigga

The one where it it started to a hey hi

and it killed me to say bye

then it went to a like love and no one else was above

now you got me hoping praying

maybe even saying... i do??

whoa, jus the thought of exchanging these rings all the way

to our dying day where i can see ya pretty wings

…type of love

That nigga

The nigga

That tears my list of structural plans

That nigga

Wait no…that man

.

we werent supposed to hold hands (parental advisory)

we werent supposed to hold hands

this accident slipped

the floor being so wet

something like the tip of my tongue glisten on your neck

id get mine

youd get yours

we followed 1 law 1 rule

and it was to never open that door

you know, that door

where we belong to each other like the air

i breathe belongs to my lungs

where we fall in love and its obvious

in the pores of our skin that we're that damn sprung

the moment came so fast and then my hand slipped into yours

and then we snapped back to reality

eyes big and shit

its getting late and you need to go

maybe we should push the stop button before

this goes into the deep

before love starts to creep and seep right under

your skin

we were just supposed to perfect a sin

a sin that began with 2 empty hearts and

fill it with the comfort of artificial pleasure

i dont want love but ive recieved it with every stroke

and frustration you grind into my back

i dont want your care

but ive got it when you simply

brush that one little strand of hair off my eye

then its eye to eye

then back to a structure of clothes back on

then the executive good bye

lights off

then lights on

back to life

back to reality

back to the formality

of the hustle but its ironic

that im writting this at work

when i was suppose to drop the feeling

so drop it

im letting it go and getting back to

my precisive plans and it doesnt involve

ever again

holding your hand....

.