the corner

I cant remember the last time I smiled

the last time I really meant for the curves on my lips to dent

i've concluded to losing that file

im in a trench on a no man’s land

im fighting a battle with an empty gun and no plan

i guess writing this is a start to get me out of this sinking sand

oh lord, I forgot how to smile

forgot how to love

forgot how to hold someone the right way

I forgot the words that boil in my heart and forget what to say

I confuse my day with night and night with day

Ive lost my mind and forgot how to pray

so ill start by writing this

I use to be good, real good

the words id write seeped into their drinks and cold ice

while they took a sip and understood

oh If I could just bring it back

back on track

id maybe remember how to mend this crack in my confidence

if I could bring it back

id remember how to love myself and be bullet proof to any attack

I forgot to escape and still be sober

forgot to feel young instead I feel older

I have no more oxygen to blow away these fears

but im sick of depending on someone to supposedly

kiss away my tears

my foundation has cracked like ground zero

torn down and silent

im the refugee walking around but not looking for a hero

not anymore

Im still here for a reason and I really cant seem to figure why

so the new mentality is to keep on moving

to keep on crying

to keep on hustling

to keep on trying

to keep holding on

to stay strapped up

head up like a pledge line

don’t let them break your line

your path

let the vultures circle up in the sky

that’s all they know

its their only craft

that’s all they remember

but I will remember

Ill remember how to smile

Ill get my nose out the corner

Ill drop these invisible fees I hold against myself

Ill love again

Ill open my eyes to see

I just have to get out of this room

but wheres the key?

.

cinderella (that nigga)

Waiting for that nigga

You know… that nigga

The one that gets me to drop my armor

Before I put it up

The one that gets me to cut that bullshit about how they all the same

With one finger to shut me up

I aint waiting

Im not anticipating

Just floating, maybe hoping…

Ah fuck it

Im fine alone through these four walls

But I keep hearing whispers of how someone is gonna

Break these walls and have them fall

So that nigga can come to me and finally say

I can have it all?!

This poem corny as shit and in a min

I gotta get ready for work

And this fantasy ish..has got to quit

But damn u stay on my mind

And I don’t even know what you look like

When you’re in my dreams your face is blurry

So I try to re-wind, re defined fast forward..something!

but u vanish, then I somehow manage to get my ass outta bed

but never out of my head

you’re my Cinderella, my lost treasure

and the road to finding you is in

nothing but the smallest measures

I don’t know your name

your face

Your laugh

If your heart is tore

Don’t know your credit score

But I crave for you and I want more

So yeah maybe I am waiting

Maybe anticipating

But the thought of you makes me happy

Its hard sometimes being alone all the time

but there is hope to the existance

of real love with no crimes

And youre the nigga

That nigga

The one where it it started to a hey hi

and it killed me to say bye

then it went to a like love and no one else was above

now you got me hoping praying

maybe even saying... i do??

whoa, jus the thought of exchanging these rings all the way

to our dying day where i can see ya pretty wings

…type of love

That nigga

The nigga

That tears my list of structural plans

That nigga

Wait no…that man

.

we werent supposed to hold hands (parental advisory)

we werent supposed to hold hands

this accident slipped

the floor being so wet

something like the tip of my tongue glisten on your neck

id get mine

youd get yours

we followed 1 law 1 rule

and it was to never open that door

you know, that door

where we belong to each other like the air

i breathe belongs to my lungs

where we fall in love and its obvious

in the pores of our skin that we're that damn sprung

the moment came so fast and then my hand slipped into yours

and then we snapped back to reality

eyes big and shit

its getting late and you need to go

maybe we should push the stop button before

this goes into the deep

before love starts to creep and seep right under

your skin

we were just supposed to perfect a sin

a sin that began with 2 empty hearts and

fill it with the comfort of artificial pleasure

i dont want love but ive recieved it with every stroke

and frustration you grind into my back

i dont want your care

but ive got it when you simply

brush that one little strand of hair off my eye

then its eye to eye

then back to a structure of clothes back on

then the executive good bye

lights off

then lights on

back to life

back to reality

back to the formality

of the hustle but its ironic

that im writting this at work

when i was suppose to drop the feeling

so drop it

im letting it go and getting back to

my precisive plans and it doesnt involve

ever again

holding your hand....

.

this tree

that tree is the same tree you obey

that tree is the same tree you decay yourself for

you are the slave to the money that you

bleed

breathe

and break your back

everyday of your life

that tree is the history

my forefathers rested on

yet that tree is the strife

the end of a colored life

that my forefathers hung from

that tree is family

a connection

a church

a distant praise to the lord above

its a beautiful disastrous confusion of creation

this tree is our respriration

this tree is death

it grows with our pain

it grows with our tear along with the rain

growth from the beautiful risk taking

quiver of a trumpet

the beautiful song that wrapped around the bark

that permanetly has keep their mark

without this tree the blessings wouldnt prevailed

without this tree the books would be empty with

no story to tell

without that tree there be no history

i wouldnt appreciate my kinky naps

that the women before me had to deal with

that damn hot comb

that sizzles close to that scalp

just so our hair could look one half step closer

to a european

i wouldnt comprehend

that tree is the road to

freedom then to freedom

of breaking away from

one chain to one chain

the same chains that reigned

around the ankles of my ancestors

coming to the land of the free....

oh how sweet the sound

that this is tree is still here

to watch the constant

destruction

seduction

of hate, ignorance and obstruction

this tree is love

music

peace

a story

a journey to the glory

with each leaf as the

beginning of the beautiful story...

foundation (tribute to lost and forgotten dreams)

You see it’s the ground
With zero over it
It your soil
Your trail
Your dream
And no one eles
that’s the beauty of youth
Because there is no pollution
No confusion
Or the heavy institution on top
Embedding what is right and what is wrong
It is your life
It is your song
Your soil
Your seeds only for you
To plant
And whatever grows or whatever dies
Life goes on
Though we never know why
But I believe its because you are the author
The painter
The dancer
And the politician of your own life
This is the meaning of devotion
As I write this full of streaming tears
Of emotion that on the paper
This paper is the ocean
And you can either float or drown
You can either smile or frown
Look up or down
Have a voice or never make a sound
This is for you and you and you
And only a few will understand
That as an individual we create our own plans
No woman no man
People will come and go in our lives, so
Just rewind… to moment before you fell in love
Before you created a family
remember your inspriration
Sweat and tears that comes from every sigh of your respiration
Remember who were you were before you flourish into a garden
What was your passion
What was your joy
What was that feeling
That made you feel brand new
The only would never leave you in the middle of the night
Do you remember what made the dark seem so light
When you had it
Its never too late to go back
Never too late to walk amongst the broken track
Of forgotten and lost dreams
Never too late …
Oh it seems